Sorry I haven’t been around in a while. Some of you know where best to find me now. I stopped by here to look back over the past year. There have been a lot of changes. Some good, some not so good.
This is my fall back blog now. The only place that I can write what I want without anyone too close seeing it.
I have had serious doubts lately about the new job. There is so much too learn and a lot of pressure to learn it so quickly. I have cried at work and on the way to work more than I want to mention. I am not sure if I am lacking confidence in myself or if it is something that I am not going to be able to do.
I honestly think my problem is that I struggle with trying to be too perfect and too gentle. I am afraid to hurt anyone and I am afraid to do something wrong. The doctor expects you to be able to be trained in 6 weeks. I have a few strong points, but I feel that I have more weak points right now.
I prayed for a job that would bless me. I prayed that I would be able to work either with children or elderly. And I prayed that I would be able to talk to people more than push paper. I forgot to be careful what I wish for. I got what I wanted and now I am having serious doubts about it.
I turned down a job making a lot more money and now I wonder if I should have.
Please pray that I soon get confidence and peace with the decisions that I have made and those I need to make.